2009 - 2010 - Changes.

It seems almost forever ago that i graced the Midlands with my presence and even longer since my last adventure inside the squared circle. In actuality it has been a little under a year, it's funny how much can happen in a year, perhaps i never realized it because i was too busy engulfing myself into an online world which only really changes in any big way every few months and even then the changes might not be all that big. In the past year a LOT has happened a lot of changes have taken root in my life and i'm not the same person coming out of it. The year of 2009 - 2010 has probably been the one in my 22 year existence that has not only taught me the most but left the biggest mark and i don't mean the scar on my arm. What an adventure it has been, some things about me as a person before can no longer be attributed to me and plenty of other things have taken their place. With so many changes having taken place it's going to be strange to see that my place of residence for over 21 years of my life has likely remained as i remember it, with the same flaws and the same draws as ever. Perhaps most of the people i knew before have changed very little too, it will be very odd indeed.

I have applied for a job in Coventry, my return is perhaps imminent, if I do move back to Coventry, it will be a major move, just as it was moving to Dundee in the first place. I can't express how different i feel within myself than the last time i lived in the midlands, I can't explain most of the differences, I might well seem like the same person i was before to any old friends just a little more gay but the changes feel deep to me.

Am I ready to leave Dundee?
Have I learnt all of the things about myself that Dundee can help me answer?
Will the 'new' me and Coventry like each other?

Hard questions with no definite answers... It seems the biggest questions / issues in life never come with the comfort of clear yes or no, perhaps I should get used to that.

A lot has happened in recent months and somehow I managed to keep bouncing back, I manager to keep my head above water and move on, albeit not as easily as i'd hoped. Dundee seems to allow me second chances.

It's also bizarre that on the cusp of such a large move, I find myself allowing someone close, but how could I not when so far i very much enjoy his company and honestly feel the best idea when it comes to him is to give it a chance...

Oh, such dilemma's, Such a huge decision, Such big questions...


I wonder whether 2010 - 2011 will hold half the changes this past year did, part of me hopes it will, perhaps i'll become a millionaire? The sensible part of me hopes however that it doesn't, i'm happy with who I am, i'm happy with the direction of my life, i'm happy with being me.

Right, time for bed!
=)