Finally the exact date has been set, no more speculation or use of none specific time-frames. I shall be making the trip to my new home in Scotland this coming Friday! The 5 hour car ride is almost certainly going to be a boring one, even when accompanied by my dad and his partner Jane I can’t help but feel 5 hours in a car will lend itself perfectly to boredom. Thankfully, I shall be providing some of the music we will be listening to and Valley of the Damned could keep me sane during the longest of journeys!
Tomorrow is the Triple X show, which as always I am looking forward to. I’m not sure there is any wrestling promotion in the world, let alone the UK that offers the things Triple X does to either its fans or its workers. With the last crowd being so good, I’m optimistic that tomorrow will also be a great turn out and a great night will be had for all of those in attendance. Looking forward to catching up with the usual guys and of course wrestling eXodus.
This is just a short and sweet blog, I’ll probably be writing another before the big move. I’ll just say, right now I’m both excited and relieved, it’s been a long time coming and I can’t wait!
Saturday, 8 August 2009
Wednesday, 8 July 2009
The salvation in the big bag.
So, for the most part another boring weekend, the days surrounding no better either. I doubt today will break that trend and my boredom seems set to continue for some time yet. My mood is pretty upbeat at the moment though, which can be attributed to a renewed sense of stability in my relationship which had recently been turbulent at best and at times hellish. I think after reaching somewhat of a peak a few days ago things are getting back on track.
I can't say that all of the problems were due to the continued distance between us but i do think that it is a huge contributing factor and thankfully one which is soon to be removed. This reminds me that i must apologise to my dad for seemingly without reason becoming very moody and rushing him to take me home, whilst he was happily fishing.
Relationships are hard, really hard and something you don't even think about can easily become a fairly large issue. Things done in the best intention can come back to haunt you. Still, i feel i'm learning more about being in a relationship with each passing day. Perhaps one day i'll actually be good at it.
I also hope that in time i will be less quick to jump to making angry rants about my other half when things do get bad. I posted a blog recently which made some very unfair comments, whilst it was not up for long, it probably should never have been published.
Anyway, as i say, things are back on track, a very tense and testing summit traversed. The past few days have actually been great relationshipwise, me and simmons have both admitted where we did wrong, have both talked things through and both realised that the direction we were headed was not the way we wanted to go. We now seem to be spending more time talking than we have in the past month or so and enjoying it. Hopefully, he will be making the long trip down to coventry on the 16th of july to spend 5 days here. If he is able, that time will be great, i'm sure. I still miss him no matter how much we talk and nothing can quite compare to when he is actually here, or i there.
Saturday was perhaps the one exception of my boring past few days. I headed out with my dad, jane, nathan (little bro) and his friend to the summer fate thing at Brammcote Barracks. All in all it was a pretty fun day, apparently Gurkah food is quite nice, the potato curry being the highlight.
There was a stall at the open day which was selling samosa's, onion baaji's and a variety of other food. The baaji's were great, the samosa's were ok but could have done with being a few notches spicier. However, the low point of this stall was some of the more 'healthy' food they were supplying. They had 'stuff vineleaves' which appealed to jane's vegan taste in food and i decided i would try one. Upon biting into this incredibly greasy, disgusting smelling green turd resembling 'food' I was greeted with perhaps the most grotesque taste i have ever had the misfortune of putting into my mouth. The oil from this thing just dripped on my tongue and filled my mouth on first bite. The vineleaf was stuffed with rice with a lemon hint and ofcourse the aforementioned oil. I'm not quite sure which bit of this hideous food offended me most but even before i began chewing i knew swallowing it would lead me to projectile vomit worse than the absinth mentioned in a previous blog. So here i was, in the middle of a field, this disgusting food resting on my tongue, looking around for a bin to dispose of it. I stood for i guess around 5 minutes, just surveying the various stalls in hope that i would not be forced to eventually swallow this rancid hippy food. Well i found one, i can't say i'd ever been so happy to have my head dangling over a black bag filled with various food scraps and rubbish on a hot day. The smell of the bin i remember well, it filled my nostrils infusing me with a sense of hope, this was the smell of salvation, a smell i will actually fondly remember for sometime to come. Even my father who i am certain could eat roasted dog shit without batting an eyelid tried one not long after me, having not seen the effect it had on me, also having to spit it out. Well, jane seemed to enjoy these for some reason, she ate 10 of the things. I guess when you're accustomed to drinking soya milk, this is no huge feat. All day i struggled with the after taste, even having not swallowed any, nor chewing it, the vile oil must have made it's way down my throat and soaked my tongue.
Anyway, the rest of the day was good, we left the barracks and dropped nathan and his friend off, then went to my janes boat, did some fishing, sat around etc, it was pretty sweet. Then came a text and subsequent phone calls between me and simmons at which point i turned somewhat... distracted and moody.
that's pretty much all i have been upto, it's not a lot and when the most interesting thing you have to blog about is the worst food you've ever tried, i guess it's bound to fail! A few wrestling shows coming up in the next couple of weeks though it seems and simmons just messaged me a few moments ago confirming he has brought his train tickets for the 16th! I can't wait :)
Ciao for now!
I can't say that all of the problems were due to the continued distance between us but i do think that it is a huge contributing factor and thankfully one which is soon to be removed. This reminds me that i must apologise to my dad for seemingly without reason becoming very moody and rushing him to take me home, whilst he was happily fishing.
Relationships are hard, really hard and something you don't even think about can easily become a fairly large issue. Things done in the best intention can come back to haunt you. Still, i feel i'm learning more about being in a relationship with each passing day. Perhaps one day i'll actually be good at it.
I also hope that in time i will be less quick to jump to making angry rants about my other half when things do get bad. I posted a blog recently which made some very unfair comments, whilst it was not up for long, it probably should never have been published.
Anyway, as i say, things are back on track, a very tense and testing summit traversed. The past few days have actually been great relationshipwise, me and simmons have both admitted where we did wrong, have both talked things through and both realised that the direction we were headed was not the way we wanted to go. We now seem to be spending more time talking than we have in the past month or so and enjoying it. Hopefully, he will be making the long trip down to coventry on the 16th of july to spend 5 days here. If he is able, that time will be great, i'm sure. I still miss him no matter how much we talk and nothing can quite compare to when he is actually here, or i there.
Saturday was perhaps the one exception of my boring past few days. I headed out with my dad, jane, nathan (little bro) and his friend to the summer fate thing at Brammcote Barracks. All in all it was a pretty fun day, apparently Gurkah food is quite nice, the potato curry being the highlight.
There was a stall at the open day which was selling samosa's, onion baaji's and a variety of other food. The baaji's were great, the samosa's were ok but could have done with being a few notches spicier. However, the low point of this stall was some of the more 'healthy' food they were supplying. They had 'stuff vineleaves' which appealed to jane's vegan taste in food and i decided i would try one. Upon biting into this incredibly greasy, disgusting smelling green turd resembling 'food' I was greeted with perhaps the most grotesque taste i have ever had the misfortune of putting into my mouth. The oil from this thing just dripped on my tongue and filled my mouth on first bite. The vineleaf was stuffed with rice with a lemon hint and ofcourse the aforementioned oil. I'm not quite sure which bit of this hideous food offended me most but even before i began chewing i knew swallowing it would lead me to projectile vomit worse than the absinth mentioned in a previous blog. So here i was, in the middle of a field, this disgusting food resting on my tongue, looking around for a bin to dispose of it. I stood for i guess around 5 minutes, just surveying the various stalls in hope that i would not be forced to eventually swallow this rancid hippy food. Well i found one, i can't say i'd ever been so happy to have my head dangling over a black bag filled with various food scraps and rubbish on a hot day. The smell of the bin i remember well, it filled my nostrils infusing me with a sense of hope, this was the smell of salvation, a smell i will actually fondly remember for sometime to come. Even my father who i am certain could eat roasted dog shit without batting an eyelid tried one not long after me, having not seen the effect it had on me, also having to spit it out. Well, jane seemed to enjoy these for some reason, she ate 10 of the things. I guess when you're accustomed to drinking soya milk, this is no huge feat. All day i struggled with the after taste, even having not swallowed any, nor chewing it, the vile oil must have made it's way down my throat and soaked my tongue.
Anyway, the rest of the day was good, we left the barracks and dropped nathan and his friend off, then went to my janes boat, did some fishing, sat around etc, it was pretty sweet. Then came a text and subsequent phone calls between me and simmons at which point i turned somewhat... distracted and moody.
that's pretty much all i have been upto, it's not a lot and when the most interesting thing you have to blog about is the worst food you've ever tried, i guess it's bound to fail! A few wrestling shows coming up in the next couple of weeks though it seems and simmons just messaged me a few moments ago confirming he has brought his train tickets for the 16th! I can't wait :)
Ciao for now!
Friday, 3 July 2009
A more conventional blog, i guess?
this heat is really starting to send me slightly insane, it's ruining my sleeping pattern beyond repair. I'm not sure i can even remember the last time i slept for more than 4 or 5 hours at any one time. My fan is of little help in this recent heat wave, even sat next to me, the breeze i am getting from it is only slightly cooler than the surrounding air. I feel like a small african child sowing soccer balls in a sweat shop. I am sat here shirtless, having to lean foward slightly as my leather chair is covered in a cold sweat, which is quite disgusting.
Recently my blogs have deviated from the usual format, in that they have been less about what is going on, than topical. My most recent two for instance really broke the old format and came in the form of lightly humorous rants. When your Polish friend asks you to rant on polish immigrants, the oppertunity must be taken up, regardless of actual views, a ridiculous post must be made. I hope that people are able to see the humor as opposed to insults. Today though i come with a more usual blog.
So, as of yesterday, the flat in dundee is officially now rented, Simmons went and picked up the keys, my keys should be getting cut in the next few days, which is ace. It really is hard to really get my head around just how close and real this is now.
In perhaps a few months, for a lot of you who i see on a semi-regular basis the only way of keeping up with what's going on with me will be from scarce appearances in the midlands wrestling scene and through these here blogs. I'll be living in an absurd country... It is odd, i would have expected with such a large move that i would be nervous, which just isn't the case, infact i feel a small sense of excitement.
My excitement on moving up to Dundee is perhaps hightened by the fact that within a few months of being there, Dragonforce shall be playing just around the corner, which is a huge plus!
Well, i finally have some pictures of the flat, which is what i was making this blog to share!
Buster sat on alert, guarding the flat, whilst teddy goes about keeping the bed warm! Too cute xD
I told you Scotland is odd, we haven't even moved in yet and theres a paedo in a car outside the bedroom waiting for a glimpse!
A shot of the front room, the couches may look like they have been stained with years worth of periods but they're comfy and that's what counts... right?
Another shot of the front room. One of the first boxes my partner moves in is seemingly a box of personal hygene products, most likely the box has more skin conditioners than were previously even known to man.
Because you know that a blurry photo of what i guess is a cheese grater makes sense...
The kitchen really is as small as i remember, it's also fairly nice looking.
So there it is, the place i shall soon enough be calling home.
Other than that i've nothing really to blog about, im bored and tired
Recently my blogs have deviated from the usual format, in that they have been less about what is going on, than topical. My most recent two for instance really broke the old format and came in the form of lightly humorous rants. When your Polish friend asks you to rant on polish immigrants, the oppertunity must be taken up, regardless of actual views, a ridiculous post must be made. I hope that people are able to see the humor as opposed to insults. Today though i come with a more usual blog.
So, as of yesterday, the flat in dundee is officially now rented, Simmons went and picked up the keys, my keys should be getting cut in the next few days, which is ace. It really is hard to really get my head around just how close and real this is now.
In perhaps a few months, for a lot of you who i see on a semi-regular basis the only way of keeping up with what's going on with me will be from scarce appearances in the midlands wrestling scene and through these here blogs. I'll be living in an absurd country... It is odd, i would have expected with such a large move that i would be nervous, which just isn't the case, infact i feel a small sense of excitement.
My excitement on moving up to Dundee is perhaps hightened by the fact that within a few months of being there, Dragonforce shall be playing just around the corner, which is a huge plus!
Well, i finally have some pictures of the flat, which is what i was making this blog to share!
Buster sat on alert, guarding the flat, whilst teddy goes about keeping the bed warm! Too cute xD
I told you Scotland is odd, we haven't even moved in yet and theres a paedo in a car outside the bedroom waiting for a glimpse!
A shot of the front room, the couches may look like they have been stained with years worth of periods but they're comfy and that's what counts... right?
Another shot of the front room. One of the first boxes my partner moves in is seemingly a box of personal hygene products, most likely the box has more skin conditioners than were previously even known to man.
Because you know that a blurry photo of what i guess is a cheese grater makes sense...
The kitchen really is as small as i remember, it's also fairly nice looking.
So there it is, the place i shall soon enough be calling home.
Other than that i've nothing really to blog about, im bored and tired
Wednesday, 1 July 2009
Polish descrimination.
Have you ever lost your job to find out perhaps only days later from an old colleague that the person replacing you is a Mr Kowalski, a man of polish descent who can barely speak English but is willing to work for minimum wage or in some cases below it? I'm sure if you have been in this situation that you found yourself not only frustrated but angry. 'How could we allow immigration to harm the british worker in this way!?'. Whilst i can understand the frustration that this is met with, i must implore you to think again who really is at fault.
It is true that in recent years Polands main export is misery and miserable emigrants but there are many underlying problems which go much deeper than a few summer holiday camps built by the late great adolf hitler and all polackticians being retarded idiots. This country is a prime example that the 3rd world stretches well into Europe and that communism is still a force hurting millions across the globe. What though is the issue that i believe is most important to understand if we are to truely sympathise with the situation?
I believe perhaps it is exactly the same company behind the sucess of all great nations that is not only holding Poland back but discriminating against them with the sole purpose of further ruining the country. We only need look within our great isle to see the power wielded in one simple product. Scotland, like Poland is a loathsome place. Both have at one point or another been seen in such an unfortunate state that neighbouring countries felt the need to intervene in an attempt to bring them up to par with the civilised world. What is it that causes Scotlands ridiculous state? The people in Scotland drink what is known as 'Irn Bru' or fluorescent piss as we in England know it. This in itself is not a problem, the lack of drinking Coca-Cola is. Whilst the Scots choose not to advance into the current century, the same cannot be said for the Polish, who are willing to change and wanting to advance.
Have you ever had the misfortune of drinking polish cola? I have, and i can understand why the Polish are fleeing their country at such an alarming rate. It would be a terrible thing to be out in the hot sun, painting fences and having to sip at this vile excuse for cola.
The coca-cola company is choosing to offer the Polish people an inferior cola in order to ruin the country, for their continued support of communism. All that is happening however is the Polish people are fleeing for lakes with greener seaweed and in turn ruining innocent countries. The worst part is, whilst we watch the huge influx of polacks who land on our shores, we are powerless to do anything to stop the issue.
The English government has not yet lost faith in poland as they have Scotland. Unlike with Scotland us English are not just giving false power to a failing nation in hopes that they will deal with their own problems, but granting assylum because of this horrible situation. Much like we grant assylum for those in countries of war, famine and rape, we, knowing the power that Coca-Cola holds over us, invite the polish in with arms wide open. This in turn is having a profound effect on our economy. When we consider that Britain is not the only place harbouring these people and feeling the effects of cheap labour on the native work force infact the issue is global. The Polish which still put their faith in communism are moving to cuba, The mentally ill to france and the morbidly obese to america.
This is the reason for the recent global economic depression and it all takes it's roots within the vast Coca-Cola corporation. How can we fight the corporations which is ruining our planet? I am unsure, when coca-cola can be in some ways defined by the following: there may well not be a way.
* Coca-Cola is devoid of humanity, morality, pity, and mercy.
* Coca-Cola works as one, because none of us are as cruel as all of us.
* Coca-Cola cannot be harmed, no matter how many Coca-Cola may fall in battle.
* Coca-Cola doesn't fall in battle, anyway.
* Coca-Cola only undertakes Serious Business.
* Coca-Cola is everyone
* Coca-Cola is everywhere.
* Coca-Cola cannot be out-numbered.
* Coca-Cola is a hydra, constantly moving, constantly changing. Remove one head, and nine replace it.
I will shortly make an online petition raising my concerns and once i have found enough support, i will present the petition to as many people as needed to make sure this vicious descrimination of the polish is put to a stop. This is all on the issue for now, check back for progress updates!
It is true that in recent years Polands main export is misery and miserable emigrants but there are many underlying problems which go much deeper than a few summer holiday camps built by the late great adolf hitler and all polackticians being retarded idiots. This country is a prime example that the 3rd world stretches well into Europe and that communism is still a force hurting millions across the globe. What though is the issue that i believe is most important to understand if we are to truely sympathise with the situation?
I believe perhaps it is exactly the same company behind the sucess of all great nations that is not only holding Poland back but discriminating against them with the sole purpose of further ruining the country. We only need look within our great isle to see the power wielded in one simple product. Scotland, like Poland is a loathsome place. Both have at one point or another been seen in such an unfortunate state that neighbouring countries felt the need to intervene in an attempt to bring them up to par with the civilised world. What is it that causes Scotlands ridiculous state? The people in Scotland drink what is known as 'Irn Bru' or fluorescent piss as we in England know it. This in itself is not a problem, the lack of drinking Coca-Cola is. Whilst the Scots choose not to advance into the current century, the same cannot be said for the Polish, who are willing to change and wanting to advance.
Have you ever had the misfortune of drinking polish cola? I have, and i can understand why the Polish are fleeing their country at such an alarming rate. It would be a terrible thing to be out in the hot sun, painting fences and having to sip at this vile excuse for cola.
The coca-cola company is choosing to offer the Polish people an inferior cola in order to ruin the country, for their continued support of communism. All that is happening however is the Polish people are fleeing for lakes with greener seaweed and in turn ruining innocent countries. The worst part is, whilst we watch the huge influx of polacks who land on our shores, we are powerless to do anything to stop the issue.
The English government has not yet lost faith in poland as they have Scotland. Unlike with Scotland us English are not just giving false power to a failing nation in hopes that they will deal with their own problems, but granting assylum because of this horrible situation. Much like we grant assylum for those in countries of war, famine and rape, we, knowing the power that Coca-Cola holds over us, invite the polish in with arms wide open. This in turn is having a profound effect on our economy. When we consider that Britain is not the only place harbouring these people and feeling the effects of cheap labour on the native work force infact the issue is global. The Polish which still put their faith in communism are moving to cuba, The mentally ill to france and the morbidly obese to america.
This is the reason for the recent global economic depression and it all takes it's roots within the vast Coca-Cola corporation. How can we fight the corporations which is ruining our planet? I am unsure, when coca-cola can be in some ways defined by the following: there may well not be a way.
* Coca-Cola is devoid of humanity, morality, pity, and mercy.
* Coca-Cola works as one, because none of us are as cruel as all of us.
* Coca-Cola cannot be harmed, no matter how many Coca-Cola may fall in battle.
* Coca-Cola doesn't fall in battle, anyway.
* Coca-Cola only undertakes Serious Business.
* Coca-Cola is everyone
* Coca-Cola is everywhere.
* Coca-Cola cannot be out-numbered.
* Coca-Cola is a hydra, constantly moving, constantly changing. Remove one head, and nine replace it.
I will shortly make an online petition raising my concerns and once i have found enough support, i will present the petition to as many people as needed to make sure this vicious descrimination of the polish is put to a stop. This is all on the issue for now, check back for progress updates!
Fucking old people!
Well, yet again i am sat here having not slept at the normal times... i'm tired, i'm bored, i'm irritable and i'm looking through some of my old seesmic videos. There are a few which might be interesting for future use, but i have pin pointed one in which i would like to be my first rant in video form to appear on this blog.
The video itself is almost a year old. The sound quality, the video quality, both are not the best, it was taken with a fairly crappy webcam.
The topic is old people and how much they can piss me off at times.
Essentially, the video is about an incident which highlights the way old people often times will take advantage of respect younger people tend to show to them. If i remember correctly, the old woman i am talking about, seemed in good health and was carrying nothing. Where as on the other hand i was. The video explains it better. Again if you're reading this on facebook, you need to goto the original source of my blog: http://srgtf.blogspot.com to view the video.
So many old people will talk about how the young do not treat them right, how they feel threatened by the young, how the current day young people are degenerates, my response to that is that in this day and age, old people take advantage, they get in the way and sometimes smell of pee.
A similar confrontation between myself and an old woman happened much more recently, it was i believe the last time i was in dundee, a month or two ago and some old woman was stood, right in the middle of an aisle in tesco, blocking everyone getting past, chatting with another old woman who also was inconveniently placed. I loudly said 'If somebody doesn't move, i'm going to rum them down like a dog'. Again the old woman looked at me as if i had just pissed all over her favourite grand child or perhaps ripped off her clothing and smeared fecal matter all over her long sagged breasts.
As i mentioned in the video almost a year ago, i am not an unfair person, i am willing and completely happy to accomodate the needs of old people and put myself out to make sure that what could quite possibly be their last living day is a pleasent one but i often feel they take advantage of their age and feel they can purposely inconvenience everybody at their own leisure and it does not sit well with me!
There are plenty of less annoying old people out there, but like with queers, it's the fucking annoying ones which stick out most in peoples minds and i'm sure anyone reading this has some experience of an old person, just taking the piss or being incredibly selfish. Perhaps their continued existance in itself is selfish, if they died quicker the inheritance they leave to their children would be worth more... it's all well and great getting inheritance once you're 50 odd and have your own house and car, but wouldn't it make more of a difference earlier?
In all honesty, i believe some of my comments here come across very offensive, some of them are tongue in cheek and just to make interested an otherwise boring blog, but some of them stand.
The old people of today look upon the young as degenerates, perhaps the old people of yesteryear would look upon todays old people as an embarrasment, i am unsre.
Anyway, i'm going to play a little bejeweled and head to bed.
Just thought i would post an old video and add to it in text. I think this is the way i will be doing a lot of my blogs in the future, a little video and some accompanying text.
The video itself is almost a year old. The sound quality, the video quality, both are not the best, it was taken with a fairly crappy webcam.
The topic is old people and how much they can piss me off at times.
Essentially, the video is about an incident which highlights the way old people often times will take advantage of respect younger people tend to show to them. If i remember correctly, the old woman i am talking about, seemed in good health and was carrying nothing. Where as on the other hand i was. The video explains it better. Again if you're reading this on facebook, you need to goto the original source of my blog: http://srgtf.blogspot.com to view the video.
So many old people will talk about how the young do not treat them right, how they feel threatened by the young, how the current day young people are degenerates, my response to that is that in this day and age, old people take advantage, they get in the way and sometimes smell of pee.
A similar confrontation between myself and an old woman happened much more recently, it was i believe the last time i was in dundee, a month or two ago and some old woman was stood, right in the middle of an aisle in tesco, blocking everyone getting past, chatting with another old woman who also was inconveniently placed. I loudly said 'If somebody doesn't move, i'm going to rum them down like a dog'. Again the old woman looked at me as if i had just pissed all over her favourite grand child or perhaps ripped off her clothing and smeared fecal matter all over her long sagged breasts.
As i mentioned in the video almost a year ago, i am not an unfair person, i am willing and completely happy to accomodate the needs of old people and put myself out to make sure that what could quite possibly be their last living day is a pleasent one but i often feel they take advantage of their age and feel they can purposely inconvenience everybody at their own leisure and it does not sit well with me!
There are plenty of less annoying old people out there, but like with queers, it's the fucking annoying ones which stick out most in peoples minds and i'm sure anyone reading this has some experience of an old person, just taking the piss or being incredibly selfish. Perhaps their continued existance in itself is selfish, if they died quicker the inheritance they leave to their children would be worth more... it's all well and great getting inheritance once you're 50 odd and have your own house and car, but wouldn't it make more of a difference earlier?
In all honesty, i believe some of my comments here come across very offensive, some of them are tongue in cheek and just to make interested an otherwise boring blog, but some of them stand.
The old people of today look upon the young as degenerates, perhaps the old people of yesteryear would look upon todays old people as an embarrasment, i am unsre.
Anyway, i'm going to play a little bejeweled and head to bed.
Just thought i would post an old video and add to it in text. I think this is the way i will be doing a lot of my blogs in the future, a little video and some accompanying text.
Monday, 29 June 2009
The final thoughts, 2 topics!
So i went to bed and fell asleep somewhere between 2 and 4 hours ago, i'm not one hundered percent sure and now i find myself wide awake and unable to fall back to sleep, certainly not for the lack of wanting to. On waking up i went to get myself a pint of ice cold milk as i find that it sometimes helps. Obviously though the milk did not have the desired effect on me and after 10 minutes with no sign of sleep nearing i decided to get up.
I took the oppertunity to make myself a little more familiar with the work of the recently deceased Michael Jackson. I downloaded his album of numbers ones and upon listening to them find myself a little puzzled. The songs are certainly catchy, i even like some of them. He had a fantastic voice and his passion really does come across in the music. I do however find the music for the most part isn't quite to my taste. Random noises and emphasis on irrelevent words in his songs seem to make them hard to listen to, at least for me and i find that it is slightly annoying in some songs. Either way, i can appriciate his music and understand why it is that he was so sucessful despite his somewhat bizzare and perhaps slightly tragic life. I will give it another listen a time when i am awake through choice, perhaps then i will find the chaotic nature of his songs a little less offensive on the ears and enjoy it a little more.
well now i have some R.E.M on, which i believe is more suited to my current state of mind and more relaxing, which is perhaps just what the doctor ordered in my quest for sleep. At least it is hopefully a start, i will probably soon move onto a bit of queen, perhaps some of the softer creed songs too.
You know, i still get a lot of questions pertaining to my sexuality, usually in a day i can expect two or more people to in someway question something to do with it. Sometimes these people are people i haven't spoken to for a long while who have seen my facebook, heard something from someone else or some how came to the knowledge that i'm a fag, sometimes these people are people who've known a while and perhaps a certain question comes up in general conversation. I have yet to be up 30 minutes and have already answered a few of the more 'usual' questions. In all seriousness i do not mind the questions, infact the impression i usually get from people asking is that of genuine intrigue or the desire to understand better something which is a little hard to understand if you're not that way... at least to some people. The questions are in a way quite nice, the fact that people take the time to show interest and to better understand is almost heart warming. The questions usually take a fairly uniform route, i could easily write in notepad a few prewritten responses and answer them all without the person ever knowing. 'How long have you known?' 'How did you know?', these are probably 2 of the most common questions and the answers to them are plainly simple and answering them as questions with the words 'you were straight?' on the end would be enough, if i were a bitchy person.
The point is, like any sexuality, i believe homosexuality becomes aparent at around the same time that any straight person would realise they like the opposite sex. How does one know they are gay? Instead of that attraction to the opposite sex it is to the same sex, which of course would pretty much be the definition of homosexuality anyway.
I don't think i've ever really blogged about my general views on homosexuality, it's portrayal or the specific struggles and grievances i had, when discovering it was the affliction with which i was burdened. I think i will do so, trying to touch on a few of the key feelings i have toward it, how those feelings have changed and what i think it means to me. Now, this means a slightly deep blog at points most likely, but hopefully i can keep it interesting with similes between homosexuality and bad things.
For years, as i've probably mentioned in my blogs previously at some point or another and if not i've certainly mentioned to some friends in conversation, i disliked, perhaps even hated gay people, at least in some form. Realising that i myself was gay, i felt that the general demeanor of gay people was not only the basis for a stereotype which i found myself hating but one i thought i would be one day stigmatised with. It always seemed to me like so many gays would purposely conform to this stereotype for some reason which i could never quite work out. My own predjudices led me to believe it would be impossible for others to view me outside of the stereotype. All the people i had known who had been gay conformed in some often times large way to it and the thought that I as a person would be banded in with that was to me an offensive thought. I was not like a lot of the gay people i had seen, either those in real life or those on television, i was just some 'normalish' guy who happened to be gay but how could that be? Was i not meant to like prancing around as opposed to walking? Ballet as opposed to wrestling? pop as opposed to metal and rock? Was i also not meant to be incredibly flambouyant in everything i did or extremely emotional as opposed to rational? When all i had to judge myself by was a select few who conformed to the stereotype i became a little confused, self hating infact. I hated what i saw, i hated that i would be labled as anything to do with that.
The point is, whilst i viewed the 'gay community' with such abhorring, i myself was becoming my own worst enemy. I alone had become more predjudiced than most others. Thankfully, it is hard to hate something which is key to ones self, eventually something has to give and as i grew up, seeing here and there people whom i would describe as normal who were actually gay i found myself able to over time change my view on it. I began to see that stereotypes, whilst often based on the general behaviour in any group or minority, never speaks for the whole. This allowed me to really view myself as acceptable.
Homosexuality though was still something which puzzled me, logically speaking the whole idea of it is completely unsound. The idea behind relationships is that of procreation, of which there is none in homosexual coupling (i'm talking natural procreation here folks!). There seemingly from a logical stand point is absoloutely no reason for any person to conform to homosexualty. I still do not understand fully how nature selects or why. There are of course many theories out there as to why homosexuality occurs and I find all of them to be things that if proven could prove detrimental to myself and other homosexuals. The most plausable, at least in my mind is that of genetics. The idea that it is decided before birth. There is some evidence to suggest it and study shows that there are differences biologically between breeders and sodomisers. Most importantly, it is said that homosexuals have slightly longer and thicker penis's in general to those of their straight counterparts... hehe, i'm kidding... i mean, that is based factually, but it isn't the most important point... oh dear, what have i gotten myself into, thankfully, i blocked my nan and sister from reading these blogs and i must check that i also disallow access to my little brother as soon as i post this. Point is, i'm not going to go through the biological differences, if you care enough, you can easily go and wikipedia them yourselves but they do seem to exist. Other theories against this 'nature' include the way we are brought up, our relationships with parents, siblings and the like. Some idiots even believe it is possible to change your sexuality throughout life, but i'm not going to give any credit to those buffoons for their ridiculous theory. Now, if it were ever proven to be biological, i can only see bad effects coming from it. It would be seen as a flaw in genetics by haters, we would be the next mentally ill people through birth defect to them and i don't think that any good would come from it. Sympathy, perhaps... but seriously, any self respecting gay person does not want sympathy... some of us actually figure out how to be happy about it.
Homosexuality, is it un-natural? Well, i'm pretty undecided, i must say. It's obvious to me that the natural order of things calls for a male and female, hell our whole existance weighs on that partnership between man and woman and us fags really don't contribute to the survival of our species in that way. The argument could be made that it is un-natural because of that. The point that homosexuality is observed at around the same rate (somewhere between 8 and 10%) in animals is the counter argument. Perhaps it is a way of controling population but again, that isn't exactly a sound idea due to the lack of change in those percentages over time.
I guess personally that i feel it has no real purpose, no real reason, it just is. I went through a period of not really wanting to accept anything but an answer as to why i am who i am, but upon thinking about it if i applied the same desire to most of my personality traits, quirks and preferences i would get very few answers. We're all different in our own ways i guess. It's no more natural or un-natural than any preference.
Marraige? Well this one is tough. You know, a lot of gay rights faggots protest really hard for this and why? I don't understand it. Civil partnerships come with all of the benefits or marraige, under a different name, so what's the problem? The religious people want to keep marraige the sacred union between man and woman, they don't want our sodomising selves apart of that... just let them have what they want... who gives a damn if the name is different? Although, i am completely in support of civil partnerships, i believe they're filling a gap which needed filling. If a guy wants to have the legal benefits of marraige another guy, or a woman another woman, i don't see the issue. Anyone opposing these are bigoted.
I'm not going to go into religious views on homosexuality, i touched on some catholic ones in a previous blog. The fact of the matter is, all religions based on the bible take their own interpretations from it. The book of Leviticus is widely open to such interpretations and is very hazy in parts. With the assumption that the passage often quoted in the argument against homosexuality was based simply on homosexuality as a whole, it does indeed seem to speak out against it but what we have there is most probably taken out of context, the word abomination not translating all that well and generally the ridiculousness that eating shell fish is also viewed in the same light... leviticus is the basis of christian based faiths dislike for homosexuality and on such a vague mention i find basing an actual opinion on it to be ignorant.
I went through countless years of trying to sort out the homosexuality issue in my mind, it's not an easy one to really understand or make logical and it probably had a detrimental effect on me at times. I made a much bigger deal of it than i needed to. When i told my mother for instance, there was absoloutely no issue there and there she said i should have told her sooner, the point was that i couldn't, i couldn't have asked her to accept me whilst i couldn't accept it myself. Thankfully though, in recent years i have found myself with some really great friends, who are open to diversity, unbigoted and generally good people. it is though only the past year and 2 - 3 months that i have truely gotten to the point that i could accept it fully and i must say i owe that to my wonderfull other half who at this moment in time is sleeping... he fell asleep with his camera still on from when we were lying in bed talking earlier and so i get to glance at him every so often and take a screenshot to show him when he wakes up of the ridiculously cute facial expressions he makes when sleeping.
Coming to terms with this, was harder than it should have been, but with some good friends, an accepting family, my guy and of course the friends i initially told who were more help than i could ever give them credit for, whether it was listening to me rant, making the odd gay joke that other people didn't take notice of, or just being supportive, their acceptance was the first step.
Also, a special thanks to the one guy who made this all happen, the guy who commandeered one of my accounts on a forum and posted a picture of myself and simmons. Seriously, you're a cunt but you did me a great service :)
Well that is pretty much the end to my thoughts on homosexuality and hopefully, if anyone has any questions in the future, i can just point them to this blog and be done with it. Also, it means i shouldn't need to mention it again in the blog in such general terms, which is good. I'm tired of writing about it!
Right, i'm going to end this blog here. This will soon sink into the bottomless hole that is my blog where it belongs and i shall listen to a few more songs before once again attempting to sleep.
I took the oppertunity to make myself a little more familiar with the work of the recently deceased Michael Jackson. I downloaded his album of numbers ones and upon listening to them find myself a little puzzled. The songs are certainly catchy, i even like some of them. He had a fantastic voice and his passion really does come across in the music. I do however find the music for the most part isn't quite to my taste. Random noises and emphasis on irrelevent words in his songs seem to make them hard to listen to, at least for me and i find that it is slightly annoying in some songs. Either way, i can appriciate his music and understand why it is that he was so sucessful despite his somewhat bizzare and perhaps slightly tragic life. I will give it another listen a time when i am awake through choice, perhaps then i will find the chaotic nature of his songs a little less offensive on the ears and enjoy it a little more.
well now i have some R.E.M on, which i believe is more suited to my current state of mind and more relaxing, which is perhaps just what the doctor ordered in my quest for sleep. At least it is hopefully a start, i will probably soon move onto a bit of queen, perhaps some of the softer creed songs too.
You know, i still get a lot of questions pertaining to my sexuality, usually in a day i can expect two or more people to in someway question something to do with it. Sometimes these people are people i haven't spoken to for a long while who have seen my facebook, heard something from someone else or some how came to the knowledge that i'm a fag, sometimes these people are people who've known a while and perhaps a certain question comes up in general conversation. I have yet to be up 30 minutes and have already answered a few of the more 'usual' questions. In all seriousness i do not mind the questions, infact the impression i usually get from people asking is that of genuine intrigue or the desire to understand better something which is a little hard to understand if you're not that way... at least to some people. The questions are in a way quite nice, the fact that people take the time to show interest and to better understand is almost heart warming. The questions usually take a fairly uniform route, i could easily write in notepad a few prewritten responses and answer them all without the person ever knowing. 'How long have you known?' 'How did you know?', these are probably 2 of the most common questions and the answers to them are plainly simple and answering them as questions with the words 'you were straight?' on the end would be enough, if i were a bitchy person.
The point is, like any sexuality, i believe homosexuality becomes aparent at around the same time that any straight person would realise they like the opposite sex. How does one know they are gay? Instead of that attraction to the opposite sex it is to the same sex, which of course would pretty much be the definition of homosexuality anyway.
I don't think i've ever really blogged about my general views on homosexuality, it's portrayal or the specific struggles and grievances i had, when discovering it was the affliction with which i was burdened. I think i will do so, trying to touch on a few of the key feelings i have toward it, how those feelings have changed and what i think it means to me. Now, this means a slightly deep blog at points most likely, but hopefully i can keep it interesting with similes between homosexuality and bad things.
For years, as i've probably mentioned in my blogs previously at some point or another and if not i've certainly mentioned to some friends in conversation, i disliked, perhaps even hated gay people, at least in some form. Realising that i myself was gay, i felt that the general demeanor of gay people was not only the basis for a stereotype which i found myself hating but one i thought i would be one day stigmatised with. It always seemed to me like so many gays would purposely conform to this stereotype for some reason which i could never quite work out. My own predjudices led me to believe it would be impossible for others to view me outside of the stereotype. All the people i had known who had been gay conformed in some often times large way to it and the thought that I as a person would be banded in with that was to me an offensive thought. I was not like a lot of the gay people i had seen, either those in real life or those on television, i was just some 'normalish' guy who happened to be gay but how could that be? Was i not meant to like prancing around as opposed to walking? Ballet as opposed to wrestling? pop as opposed to metal and rock? Was i also not meant to be incredibly flambouyant in everything i did or extremely emotional as opposed to rational? When all i had to judge myself by was a select few who conformed to the stereotype i became a little confused, self hating infact. I hated what i saw, i hated that i would be labled as anything to do with that.
The point is, whilst i viewed the 'gay community' with such abhorring, i myself was becoming my own worst enemy. I alone had become more predjudiced than most others. Thankfully, it is hard to hate something which is key to ones self, eventually something has to give and as i grew up, seeing here and there people whom i would describe as normal who were actually gay i found myself able to over time change my view on it. I began to see that stereotypes, whilst often based on the general behaviour in any group or minority, never speaks for the whole. This allowed me to really view myself as acceptable.
Homosexuality though was still something which puzzled me, logically speaking the whole idea of it is completely unsound. The idea behind relationships is that of procreation, of which there is none in homosexual coupling (i'm talking natural procreation here folks!). There seemingly from a logical stand point is absoloutely no reason for any person to conform to homosexualty. I still do not understand fully how nature selects or why. There are of course many theories out there as to why homosexuality occurs and I find all of them to be things that if proven could prove detrimental to myself and other homosexuals. The most plausable, at least in my mind is that of genetics. The idea that it is decided before birth. There is some evidence to suggest it and study shows that there are differences biologically between breeders and sodomisers. Most importantly, it is said that homosexuals have slightly longer and thicker penis's in general to those of their straight counterparts... hehe, i'm kidding... i mean, that is based factually, but it isn't the most important point... oh dear, what have i gotten myself into, thankfully, i blocked my nan and sister from reading these blogs and i must check that i also disallow access to my little brother as soon as i post this. Point is, i'm not going to go through the biological differences, if you care enough, you can easily go and wikipedia them yourselves but they do seem to exist. Other theories against this 'nature' include the way we are brought up, our relationships with parents, siblings and the like. Some idiots even believe it is possible to change your sexuality throughout life, but i'm not going to give any credit to those buffoons for their ridiculous theory. Now, if it were ever proven to be biological, i can only see bad effects coming from it. It would be seen as a flaw in genetics by haters, we would be the next mentally ill people through birth defect to them and i don't think that any good would come from it. Sympathy, perhaps... but seriously, any self respecting gay person does not want sympathy... some of us actually figure out how to be happy about it.
Homosexuality, is it un-natural? Well, i'm pretty undecided, i must say. It's obvious to me that the natural order of things calls for a male and female, hell our whole existance weighs on that partnership between man and woman and us fags really don't contribute to the survival of our species in that way. The argument could be made that it is un-natural because of that. The point that homosexuality is observed at around the same rate (somewhere between 8 and 10%) in animals is the counter argument. Perhaps it is a way of controling population but again, that isn't exactly a sound idea due to the lack of change in those percentages over time.
I guess personally that i feel it has no real purpose, no real reason, it just is. I went through a period of not really wanting to accept anything but an answer as to why i am who i am, but upon thinking about it if i applied the same desire to most of my personality traits, quirks and preferences i would get very few answers. We're all different in our own ways i guess. It's no more natural or un-natural than any preference.
Marraige? Well this one is tough. You know, a lot of gay rights faggots protest really hard for this and why? I don't understand it. Civil partnerships come with all of the benefits or marraige, under a different name, so what's the problem? The religious people want to keep marraige the sacred union between man and woman, they don't want our sodomising selves apart of that... just let them have what they want... who gives a damn if the name is different? Although, i am completely in support of civil partnerships, i believe they're filling a gap which needed filling. If a guy wants to have the legal benefits of marraige another guy, or a woman another woman, i don't see the issue. Anyone opposing these are bigoted.
I'm not going to go into religious views on homosexuality, i touched on some catholic ones in a previous blog. The fact of the matter is, all religions based on the bible take their own interpretations from it. The book of Leviticus is widely open to such interpretations and is very hazy in parts. With the assumption that the passage often quoted in the argument against homosexuality was based simply on homosexuality as a whole, it does indeed seem to speak out against it but what we have there is most probably taken out of context, the word abomination not translating all that well and generally the ridiculousness that eating shell fish is also viewed in the same light... leviticus is the basis of christian based faiths dislike for homosexuality and on such a vague mention i find basing an actual opinion on it to be ignorant.
I went through countless years of trying to sort out the homosexuality issue in my mind, it's not an easy one to really understand or make logical and it probably had a detrimental effect on me at times. I made a much bigger deal of it than i needed to. When i told my mother for instance, there was absoloutely no issue there and there she said i should have told her sooner, the point was that i couldn't, i couldn't have asked her to accept me whilst i couldn't accept it myself. Thankfully though, in recent years i have found myself with some really great friends, who are open to diversity, unbigoted and generally good people. it is though only the past year and 2 - 3 months that i have truely gotten to the point that i could accept it fully and i must say i owe that to my wonderfull other half who at this moment in time is sleeping... he fell asleep with his camera still on from when we were lying in bed talking earlier and so i get to glance at him every so often and take a screenshot to show him when he wakes up of the ridiculously cute facial expressions he makes when sleeping.
Coming to terms with this, was harder than it should have been, but with some good friends, an accepting family, my guy and of course the friends i initially told who were more help than i could ever give them credit for, whether it was listening to me rant, making the odd gay joke that other people didn't take notice of, or just being supportive, their acceptance was the first step.
Also, a special thanks to the one guy who made this all happen, the guy who commandeered one of my accounts on a forum and posted a picture of myself and simmons. Seriously, you're a cunt but you did me a great service :)
Well that is pretty much the end to my thoughts on homosexuality and hopefully, if anyone has any questions in the future, i can just point them to this blog and be done with it. Also, it means i shouldn't need to mention it again in the blog in such general terms, which is good. I'm tired of writing about it!
Right, i'm going to end this blog here. This will soon sink into the bottomless hole that is my blog where it belongs and i shall listen to a few more songs before once again attempting to sleep.
Sunday, 28 June 2009
Two blogs in as many days... i am becoming a regular blogger now, which was never truely the aim of this thing. Today though i am writing with purpose. There are many great shows on TV, of course we have the usual well received shows such as 24, lost, prison break and other TV shows which get the recognition they deserve, or in some cases do not deserve, at least in my opinion... lost? Prison break? fuck that.
However, by chance and lack of any other tv to watch, i noticed a show simply called 'Kings' on ninjavideo.net. The banner for it was fairly boring, the concept didn't sound all that interesting either. However, i gave it the 42 minutes of my time that it was asking for and found myself completely in love with this new show. It really has been a long time since a show has captured me so fully, the story telling, the way the scenes are shot and unfold, the charecters... everything about this show is perhaps as perfect as one could hope.
Upon continuing to watch it, i find that it always has something else to drive your interest in it ever higher, the plot thickens show by show, story archs are played out perfectly and new mini plots are being added between charecters all the time. It feels like no scene is ever wasted, they always have a purpose in continuing the story.
The show is based around a king, as the title suggests. It is set in modern times, with plenty of modern day themes. In essence it is about a man, once a farm boy who bravely saves the prince on the battlefield and finds himself in with the royal family. There are plenty of other archs which i am not going to go through, but the portrayal of a modern day country ruled by it's king, through war and crisis is encapsulating. The writers truely make you care about the charecters, it has a great selection of lead and supporting charecters, all of which you actually care what happens to. We have the farm boy lead who ends up falling in love with the princess, a gay prince who's been told he needs to forget about that side of himself if he ever wants to be king. A king who makes some dubious decisions and has a second life off in the country. A clergy man who is very much influencial and often conflicts with the king. A queen who is at times pretty ruthless... the list goes on. The acting in this show really is top notch for the most part.
Unforuntatly though, this NBC series is not getting the exposure it deserves. I am unsure why, the tv series really does speak for itself, perhaps it is the saturday time slot the show has been given, perhaps it is just under advertised, either way this show is not getting the merit it deserves.
I'm basically just writing this to make you all aware of what is perhaps the best TV series to start in the past few years, i think it has something everybody can enjoy. So get on the torrent sites, get on ninja video and get watching this show. Unfortunatly it may only be here for the one series, either way, it's a series worth watching folks.
I'm going to post a trailer of the show beneath this blog, you'll probably only be able to see it if you click view original article, so i'll post a link too, it doesn't show off the show as it should, perhaps that is the reason it is not being so well received but check it anyway!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5c1Vr1fcZI
However, by chance and lack of any other tv to watch, i noticed a show simply called 'Kings' on ninjavideo.net. The banner for it was fairly boring, the concept didn't sound all that interesting either. However, i gave it the 42 minutes of my time that it was asking for and found myself completely in love with this new show. It really has been a long time since a show has captured me so fully, the story telling, the way the scenes are shot and unfold, the charecters... everything about this show is perhaps as perfect as one could hope.
Upon continuing to watch it, i find that it always has something else to drive your interest in it ever higher, the plot thickens show by show, story archs are played out perfectly and new mini plots are being added between charecters all the time. It feels like no scene is ever wasted, they always have a purpose in continuing the story.
The show is based around a king, as the title suggests. It is set in modern times, with plenty of modern day themes. In essence it is about a man, once a farm boy who bravely saves the prince on the battlefield and finds himself in with the royal family. There are plenty of other archs which i am not going to go through, but the portrayal of a modern day country ruled by it's king, through war and crisis is encapsulating. The writers truely make you care about the charecters, it has a great selection of lead and supporting charecters, all of which you actually care what happens to. We have the farm boy lead who ends up falling in love with the princess, a gay prince who's been told he needs to forget about that side of himself if he ever wants to be king. A king who makes some dubious decisions and has a second life off in the country. A clergy man who is very much influencial and often conflicts with the king. A queen who is at times pretty ruthless... the list goes on. The acting in this show really is top notch for the most part.
Unforuntatly though, this NBC series is not getting the exposure it deserves. I am unsure why, the tv series really does speak for itself, perhaps it is the saturday time slot the show has been given, perhaps it is just under advertised, either way this show is not getting the merit it deserves.
I'm basically just writing this to make you all aware of what is perhaps the best TV series to start in the past few years, i think it has something everybody can enjoy. So get on the torrent sites, get on ninja video and get watching this show. Unfortunatly it may only be here for the one series, either way, it's a series worth watching folks.
I'm going to post a trailer of the show beneath this blog, you'll probably only be able to see it if you click view original article, so i'll post a link too, it doesn't show off the show as it should, perhaps that is the reason it is not being so well received but check it anyway!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5c1Vr1fcZI
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